Pushing the Envelope

I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen. (E.H.)

"I don't get mad. I get stabby."

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filigree:

animalstalkinginallcaps:

GARY! ARE YOU HOME? I CAN’T FIND MY SHOES, AND SOMEONE MOVED THE DOORKNOB! IS THIS EVEN YOUR HOUSE? GARY!

… GARY!

EVERYTHING SMELLS LIKE VODKA AND I WANT MY SHOES!

GARY WHERE IS YOUR DOORKNOB!

ALLIGAAAAAAAAAATOR TEEEEEEEEEEAAAARRRRRS.

IS THIS EVEN YOUR HOUSE.

Reblogged 1 year ago from filigree-deactivated20120524

4,588 notes

Tags: bwahahaha, hilarity,
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  This is the sort of urban wildlife we get in MY neck of the woods.
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  “Knock, knock!”
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  silly alligator, the window is on the OTHER side of the door! Awwwwww
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